Coming Out: Stepping into Your True Self and Your Biggest Dreams by Brenda R. Bryan

Coming Out: Stepping into Your True Self and Your Biggest Dreams

Have you ever come out?

Most people associate “coming out” with revealing one’s sexual identity — and that’s a deeply courageous and important form of it. But what if I told you that coming out is something everyone does? Or more accurately… something everyone needs to do.

Coming out isn’t just about orientation — it’s about authenticity. It’s about sharing a dream that feels fragile. It’s about telling the truth when it might not be received well. It’s about choosing to be seen.

My First Coming Out

My very first coming out was literal — out of my mother’s womb! And I didn’t arrive quietly. I’ve often joked that I was born a raging feminist, complete with a vision for equality, love, and justice imprinted on my soul. While I didn’t have the language for it then, I now know I came into this life with a soul code — a divine spark and a deep desire to be part of creating a more loving, inclusive world.

And every day since has been an unfolding journey of learning how to live from that spark.

The Dream You’re Afraid to Say Out Loud

What comes to mind when I ask, “Have you ever come out?” Maybe you think of a secret you held for too long. Or maybe — and this is big — maybe it’s the dream you haven’t dared to speak aloud.

The truth is, dreams are vulnerable. Sharing them is a radical act of faith — especially in a world that can be quick to ridicule or diminish things it doesn’t understand. That fear you feel? That’s your paradigm speaking — the invisible system of beliefs that’s designed to keep you safe… and small.

But the moment you whisper that dream — even just to yourself — you begin to shift. You begin to move toward possibility.

That First Speech

Years ago, I was terrified before giving my first Ice Breaker speech. My palms were sweating. I could barely breathe. For years, I’d dreamed of becoming a motivational speaker, but even crafting that first personal story brought me face-to-face with the fear of being seen.

But the moment I stood up and spoke — I came out. I stepped into the woman I was becoming. Every time we speak our truth, we take another step toward our truest self.

A Coming Out in Nova Scotia

In 1980, I lived in a cooperative house near the YWCA Women’s Centre in Nova Scotia. It was affectionately called the Dyke Motor Inn. We were a tight, supportive group — at a time when being openly queer came with serious risks.

One day, while walking with my visiting mother, I reached for her arm. She pulled away and whispered, “Someone might think we’re lesbians.” I looked her in the eye and said, “Well, Mom… one of us is.”

She paused, smiled, and took my arm again.

In that moment, I wasn’t just coming out — I was inviting her to step out of fear and meet me in love. And she did. That’s the power of alignment: when you speak from your truth, you give others permission to do the same.

The Skirt and the Paradigm Shift

For most of my life, I’ve rejected skirts — a personal and political choice. I saw dresses as symbols of outdated gender expectations. So when my Native spiritual practice required ceremonial skirts, I resisted… for eight years.

Eventually, I had to ask myself: Was I serving the deeper call of my spiritual path, or clinging to an old story?

I chose the path. That too, was a coming out — letting go of resistance in service to a higher vision.

What About You?

Every act of courage, every truth told, every dream spoken aloud — it’s all a form of coming out. And it doesn’t always feel easy. But it always calls you into deeper alignment.

Living a life you love requires you to come out of hiding and into the light of who you really are.

So let me ask again: Have you ever come out?

And better yet: What’s the next way you’re ready to?

Maybe it’s a conversation. Maybe it’s a journal entry. Maybe it’s finally naming the dream that won’t leave you alone.

Take one step. Choose one truth to tell. Let your voice be heard.

And if you’re ready to take that dream seriously, I invite you to join me at my next DreamBuilders Workshop — 90 Minutes to Change Your Life.Together, we’ll tap into the vision waiting inside you and take that powerful next step toward bringing it to life. You were born with the spark. Now’s the time to live from it.

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