Befriending Your Fear by Brenda R. Bryan

Have you ever heard the statement: “Feel the fear and do it anyway”?

That was my motto for a very long time. I thought I wouldn’t have the life I wanted if I let fear win. I grew up intensely aware of my feelings, sensations, and nervous energy of my fear of the world I lived in. After many years of that pain, I felt pushed to find a different way out. Could I live without fear, not living with anxiety or stopping myself from trying new things because I was too scared to try?

I had a great story about my fears. For example, my mother was bipolar and scared me with her behavior. I was dyslexic, so school was a place I dreaded daily. I loved learning, but struggling with the basics of spelling and reading added tension to my life every day I stepped into a classroom. The teachers were old school, using scolding and belittling as motivators. That’s not my love language.

Meanwhile, I was an intuitive, sensitive who knew I was not going down the traditional roles for girls. Talk about the discomfort of not fitting into the box assigned to me as a female! Add to that the dangerous politics of being a Lesbian Feminist, and my nervous system was on hyperdrive. What I have come to understand over the years is that fear and failure are prerequisites for achieving great dreams. I am a dreamer; I believe in the way Spirit calls me to live my life using the gifts I bring.

At birth, nature provides humans with two fears as part of their survival instinct: Fear of falling and Fear of loud noises. Other fears are conditioned during childhood development and from surroundings. While fear may sometimes serve a purpose, and it is normal to feel fear, the question becomes how much we allow fear to impede our actions toward our dreams. The goal is to elevate our relationship with fear so that no matter the fear level, we can still choose to take action. We can harness our ability to tap into our higher calling and move toward a vision that feeds our heart and soul.

Are you ready to meet the challenge of using fear as a motivator of change? Are you learning the art form of Befriending Your Fear? Fear will always be walking beside you. Recognizing when you are in fear puts you in charge of your next choice. It’s usually not your life in danger but your dream. That’s right, learning to recognize the paradigms that fear calls out in you will give you power over your results.

A paradigm is a pattern of neurons that can be dissolved and rebuilt with new wiring. As this begins to happen, the paradigm “fights for its life” by causing us to feel fear through our autonomic nervous system. That is when our commitment to our dream has to be greater than our fear.

It operates in our systems as Delay/Distraction, Dissuasion, and sometimes, Defcon 1.

Delay: I got home late, so I put off my run.
Dissuasion: I worked hard, and I deserve a break. I am not seeing results anyway.
Defcon 1: This paradigm is when a sense of fear and anxiety sets in, often with physical symptoms, that can lead to giving up on a dream altogether.

It’s not a matter of whether the 3Ds will show up but when. You should be aware of the paradigms so you’ll recognize them when they appear as you get even better at mastering your results.

“When one’s mind is confused by fear, one is in no condition to accept an opportunity.” 
– Raymond Holliwell
  • When we are operating in fear, our vibration is such that we are either unable to say yes to an opportunity or our vibration does not attract opportunities that would give rise to our dreams. What’s possible instead of the impossible? Focus on Possibility.
  • Use the power of our imagination in a way that befriends fear for growth toward even greater success in our lives. We all have fear, doubt, and worry some of the time. Even the world’s most successful have fear, doubt, and worry. The difference is successful people don’t let fear, doubt, or worry make the decision for them. They choose to focus on opportunities and possibilities.
  • Use your imagination to fuel you forward by focusing on what you WANT rather than what you DON’T want.
  • Freedom is not “not having fear.” It’s having fear and moving forward anyway. Take an action step toward what you would love/your dream.
“The value of your decision depends upon the courage you have to make them.” 
-Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

You can’t get to your dream. You must come from it.

Fear is the doorway to your dreams. Stepping out of your comfort zone and through fear is essential to achieving great success. You can constructively harness the power of imagination to support your endeavors. When you commit to your dream, you become larger than your fear; you rewire the paradigms that have been running your subconscious mind to align more with what you want. Practicing the 3 Steps for Overcoming Limiting Thoughts will support you in moving in the direction of your dream.

Step 1. Identify the fear as only a part of you.
Step 2. Surround the fear in a bubble of love
Step 3. Take an Inspire action for your dream.

Gay Hendricks, in his book” Big Leap,” has identified these 4 Hidden Barriers to Success. Take a look. Usually, we all have at least one or two of these running in the background of our beliefs. They are:
1. Feeling Fundamentally Flawed
2. Fear of Outshining
3. Fear of the Burden of Success
4. Fear of Abandonment and Disloyalty

I invite you to Befriend the Fear, for you can achieve so much more in your life when you do.

If we are constricted by fear, our biochemistry will not allow us to be creative. One way to shift energy when a fearful thought comes is to ask and speak the following:

  • Is there something I’m not doing that I can do to make this situation less likely? If so, do it.
  • Is there something I am doing that will make this situation less likely if I shift it? If so, stop doing it.
  • Rather than attempt to ignore it or make it go away, look the fear thought square in the face and say: Since you’re not happening right now, and since I don’t want you to happen, I’m giving you no more energy.
  • Even if you did come in, my Source and I would handle it, just like it has handled everything since my first breath, and that same power will be with me when I take my last breath.

There is so much to learn about transforming our dreams into reality. Over the past three years, I have been able to befriend fear to benefit my neuro pathways. I feel calm, peaceful, and am more aware of the feelings supporting my dream. I love my life. Are you committed to loving your life full out?

If you are interested in having greater control over your life and your dream, decide on that. Take action today to make a plan that supports your living full out. Having success at building your dreams, book a Free Strategy Session.

Book your session:

Brenda R Bryan
Diviner of Human Potential
503 728 8700

You can even place quotations!

Be The Impactful Badass you want to be

Book a 30 minute call to create a breakthrough about becoming the badass you know you can be